Message from the “ Silly Amendments to the Rules” Sub Committee

Your esteemed Editor has asked me, as the Chairman of the above Sub Committee, to let you into a few secrets on how we operate.

All the other members and myself are very pleased that all you fun loving speedway fans adore our annual amendments to the rulebook and you can’t wait until the season starts to see our latest effects so that you can scratch your heads in disbelief and bewilderment which means all the long hours in the pub throughout the year are worthwhile.

It early days but we are already working on amendments for the 2010 season. Mr D Duck, (you remember Donald – he was responsible for the 6 man teams in the Elite league in 1998, Golden Double Tactical Substitute in 1999 and of course the 2009 classic rule change the introduction of guests in the National League), thinks he has another classic for 2010. He was recently reading his copy of the Speedway News dated 29^th March 1929, he is a very slow reader, God bless him, and he came across the following article:

“I refer to the enterprising individuals who, when they fall in the middle of the track, steadfastly refuse to move either themselves or their machines and often cause the Clerk of the Course to stop the race thereby giving themselves another chance. One well-known rider who specialises in this sort of thing perpetrated a masterpiece last season. He fell during a race at Harringay and as he was at the tail end of the race, the attendants should have had plenty of time to remove both rider and machine before the field came around again. When they arrived on the scene however, they beheld the rider apparently writing in agony and in an agonising voice he beseeched them not to move him as his back was broken. The Clerk of the Course was compelled to stop the race on account of the riders coming round again. Immediately he realised the race had been stopped, the fallen Gladiator recovered from his injuries, jumped to his feet and calmly asked two of the astonished “pushers off” to shove his machine up to the start line for the re-run”

So Donald suggests that we re-introduce the rule that when a rider falls off he may be allowed back into the race and quotes the following as justification:

1) It would mean that we would always have four riders in a race

2) It would prolong the meeting as no doubt more riders would fall off and so promoters could charge the fans more at the turnstiles.

3) Older fans and traditionalists couldn’t complain because after all we were just re-introducing a rule from “The Good Old Days”

Now of course we realise that the 1929 rule would require some amendments to bring it up to date and Donald suggests that the reinstated rider should start off say a 30 metre handicap. Should this prove a success we could introduce further variations say riders guilty of foul or dangerous riding could be given a 45 metre handicap and even those with engine problems could be given a 60 metre handicap the list is virtually endless.

Donald being a bit of a fan of old time speedway is a subscriber to the The Speedway Researcher and he was very interested in an article in latest issue of their magazine. The article describes a scoring system used for a second half reserves match at Leicester on 31st August 1951. Normal heat points (3,2,1,0) were awarded plus additional points for beating opposition riders so a 5-1 became a 9-1, a 3 -3 became a 5-5 etc Donald is sure this could be adopted in 2010 and with the silly hat you could a 14-1 heat win.

Another member of our distinguished Sub Committee, Mr S Bear, was responsible for the rule change in 1999 that the last heat was a 6 lapper. Sooty was disappointed that this idea was soon dropped but he has been working on a possible variation to heat 15. The bikes could be lined up on the start line as at Le Mans and the riders and mechanics would have to line on the back straight and then run across the centre green and push start their bikes. Another “interesting” idea from Sooty is to make each race have a different number of laps, Heat 1 could be a one lap dash, and heat two could have 2 laps and so on. This certainly would help to keep the riders, track staff and referees on their toes and of course help the younger speedway fans with their maths. He was recently watching the cricket on the TV and was impressed with the Duckworth Lewis rule which is used when matches are cut short due to rain and he is very busy working on a speedway variation. It’s early days but he is working on a idea which would involve the use of a formula, a calculator and lots of time to determine what the final result would have been based on the points scored from each gate times the points by riders from gates they are scheduled to ride from plus a factor for each riders fastest time. He is having trouble deciding whether to allow team manager to make imaginary changes to the imaginary line ups in the imaginary races, tactical rides –reserve replacements etc or if that would be too silly. Whatever he decides he is sure will be a favourite with everyone. Fans and refs really love all the rules involving averages and decimal points which already exist and the promoters will love it after all no more letting in the fans for free when a meeting is abandoned before heat 8

Well I must go now, the nice men in the white coats want to put me in my padded jacket with the zip up the back, but don’t worry I am sure my fellow committee members and myself will think up some more gems for your enjoyment next season and but the question is will you spot them in the rule book.

Yours Sincerely

M Mouse